Alex Spencer Warren 

03 Feb - 19 weeks & 5 days 

03 Feb 

20th of January  

On Thursday I had my second antenatal appointment at the hospital. They have told me that they will be seeing me and scaning me every fortnight. Below is an image of the baby and it's heartbeat from Thursday.
The baby is developing well and has a strong heartbeat, according to the sonographer it is a wriggler, although
the placenta is on the front wall so I am yet to feel any of that movement. They are also checking the status of my cervix, as of Thursday's scan it was closed, let's just hope it stays that way!

15 weeks & 5 days

12 weeks & 5 days 

As many of you will know in July I suffered an ectopic pregnancy and lost one of my tubes and was told that the other tube was blocked. The likelihood of becoming pregnant again was significantly reduced. You can imagine our surprise when we were told that I was pregnant. I have decided to use this blog as a way of updating everyone on the progress of this pregnancy, and will include scan images. The image below is from my first ultrasound.
8 week scan

Friday is Kavyn's 1st birthday/anniversary. I thought that I wanted to write something about that, but now doesn't seem to be the time. Just thinking about him gives me this empty feeling and a heavy heart. It's times like this that I think that it wasn't supposed to be like this. How was it supposed to be? It is anyone's guess how things would have been if this had not happened. Then I think about all the good things that have come of this. I would not have gone back to Uni and I would not have set up the online writing group, or the writing workshop for bereaved parents with SIDS & Kids WA. I would not have found Heather Blakey and the Soul Food Cafe, and a group of wonderful women that frequent the cafe. I probably would not have got help for my depression, and while I'm currently suffering a relapse - I know I don't have to do it on my own.

This year I have strengthened some friendship bonds and to those people (you know who you are) thank you for being there, to all the new friends that I have made - you are welcome to join me on this journey.

Most of all to my husband and my son, thank you for being there through all the ups and downs. I could not have come through it without you both.

I believe that life gives us only what we can handle, the past year has shown me that I have more strength of character and resolve than I ever thought possible. Yes, I would trade it all to have my son back in my arms, I know that this isn't possible, so I will embrace life and live it to the full - well most of the time.